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Becoming a Queen
Breaking Generational Curses and Stepping into your Authentic Power
The preface to Becoming a Queen: Breaking Generational Curses and Stepping into Your Authentic Power is to to show through my story and everyday examples how codepependency is a conflict of agency between two wills, and that it forms the bedrock of generational curses like racism, patriarchy, social hierarchies, the caste system, Islamic hate, and the pervasive "rape consciousness" that still haunts our world. In my book, I apply spiritual principles from many different religious and spiritual teachings, but I focus my analogies largely on principles of the Bhagavad Gita as they apply to Modern Psychology and Healing the Wounds of Codependency.
As a survivor of human trafficking and domestic violence, my journey from victim to survivor—and now to the spiritual path—has been about slaying one of the greatest demons of our age: codependency. This isn't just a modern struggle. It's the very battle Arjuna faced in the Bhagavad Gita, which echoes the battle Krishna fought with the Demon Kaliya depicted in the Srimad Bhagavatum Canto 10, the symbolic story of how Krishna purifies toxic energy and ego.
Codependency is a conflict of agency—a war between two wills, where one seeks to control or suppress the other. In the Gita, this plays out on two levels: Arjuna’s external conflict with his family, and his internal war between his ego and his Higher Self.
Like many of us, Arjuna hesitated to act because of emotional bonds, guilt, and fear of hurting those he loved—even if those very bonds were rooted in injustice and control. His struggle mirrors what we collectively face when we feel torn between pleasing others and honoring our truth.
Internally, Arjuna’s ego resisted surrendering to Divine will—just as our lower self often fights the expansion that healing and growth require. The dharma of the ego is self-preservation; the dharma of the soul is evolution.
To move from victim to survivor, we must first break free from external patterns of control and unhealthy attachment. But to become truly spiritual, we must do what Arjuna did: surrender the ego to the higher calling of the soul. This is where the real war is waged—on the battlefield of the heart and mind. This website is geared towards the second internal battle we all face. Helpful resources for navigating and healing from the conflict and misfortunes of everyday life can be found on my other website, www.50ShadesOfDV.com.
In today’s world, the demon Kaliya isn’t a literal serpent—it’s the collective poison of control, fear, guilt, self-doubt, betrayal, and emotional dependence. These are the same enemies, the same demonic qualities that Krishna, Jesus, Green Tara, and all ascended masters urge us to rise above.
The Gita shows us the path. The way that Arjuna walked the way in Krishna’s example showed us how it’s done. We can make the choice to make Arjuna’s courage our own as Krishna’s wisdom continues to whisper through the chaos of modern day society.
One verse, in particular, became the cornerstone of my healing:
Chapter 6, Verse 5 – "One should lift oneself by one’s own self; one should not degrade oneself. The self alone is one’s friend, and the self alone is one’s enemy."
In modern terms, this means: Do not abandon yourself. Do not hide your truth. Do not suppress your emotions or perform perfection for the world. This teaching gave me permission to take off the mask of toxic positivity I had worn for so long—the smile that covered my suffering, the people-pleasing habits that buried my truth. It empowered me to feel fully, grieve honestly, and speak clearly. This verse affirmed that healing doesn’t mean avoiding your pain—it means becoming whole enough to hold it without being defined by it.
As I dove deeper into Vedic philosophy and Krishna Consciousness, I saw how these ancient teachings align with the emotional and psychological struggles we face today. The Bhagavad Gita may be a dialogue from 3000 BCE, but its wisdom is timeless. Arjuna’s war is not just a historical event—it’s a metaphor for the inner conflict we all face when choosing between comfort and courage, fear and faith, loyalty and truth.
Arjuna was not some abstract hero. He was a man, like any of us—loyal, sensitive, torn between duty and love. I imagine him as the kind of person who would be haunted by a fight with his wife, who would feel sick with guilt when he couldn’t be present for his child. His heartache is human. And that’s what makes Krishna’s words so powerful—because they were spoken to someone just like you and me, someone overwhelmed by life, someone afraid to rise.
In this book, I’ve translated my own modern-day Kurukshetra—the battlefield of trauma, loss, and betrayal—through the lens of Arjuna’s story. I’ve applied Krishna’s teachings to codependency, to emotional regulation, to spiritual awakening. I’ve shown how the Gita helped me navigate the darkest chapters of my life and how it can offer guidance to anyone seeking to rise out of despair and into divine sovereignty.
Whether you believe in God, in Krishna, in Jesus, or simply in your own intuition, this book is for you. You don’t need to become a yogi or a saint to heal. You just need to be willing to ask yourself the hard questions and stay open to the answers that come.
This book is for the person who’s been hurt and doesn’t know how to move forward. It’s for the one trying to break free of family patterns that feel like chains. It’s for those healing from heartbreak, betrayal, loss, or abuse. And it’s especially for those who, like I once was, are afraid to be seen because they no longer recognize themselves.
Disclaimer
This book is not a prescription for one particular religion, nor is it a recruitment tool for any spiritual path. It is, instead, a reflection of one woman’s journey from devastation to dignity, from trauma to transformation, and from silence to sovereignty. It is a deeply personal offering—a testimony of truth and the path I walked toward healing, empowerment, and awakening.
As I was taught at the Vedanta Society and during my time at the Sivananda Ashram, the paths to God are many, but God is one. What matters most on any spiritual journey is not the label we wear or the doctrine we follow, but the sincerity of our devotion, the depth of our self-inquiry, and our willingness to walk our own path with courage and humility.
In my quest for healing and understanding, I turned to the timeless wisdom of Krishna in the Bhagavad Gita. As I sought to apply his guidance to my own modern-day struggles, I found myself deeply moved by the relationship between Krishna and Arjuna. Their sacred dialogue became a mirror for my soul—a way to make sense of my inner battles.
This journey led me to explore the characters of Arjuna and the Pandavas on a deeper level, analyzing their personalities, relationships, and emotional landscapes. What touched me most was realizing that Arjuna embodies the tender sweetness of Krishna’s 17-year-old essence. Imagining someone with such depth of love and devotion being faced with an unthinkable moral dilemma broke open something inside me. It made me ask: how would I carry such a burden? And how could I use that understanding to free myself from my own suffering?
Through this lens, Krishna’s teachings became more than philosophy—they became a living force in my personal healing and spiritual awakening. They offered me a way to confront and begin to dismantle the deeply rooted patterns of codependency that once controlled my life.
I’ve shared some of my research and reflections below on the great souls of the Mahabharata, as they relate to my journey. It’s a work in progress, with all the imperfections that come with honest self-inquiry—so I thank you for your grace as you read through the unpolished parts. This offering is from my heart, for those walking their own path toward freedom.
Understanding Hinduism: One God source energy, Many avatars
At the Vedanta Society, we recently discussed something many of us have witnessed—why so many young people are hesitant to call themselves Hindu. Often raised with "cultural Hinduism" (rituals without explanation, and stereotypes like caste, curry, and cows), they struggle to define or defend their faith—even to themselves.
Swami Mehananda helped clear the confusion by explaining that Hinduism isn’t polytheistic—it’s polymorphic and monistic. That means we believe in one Divine presence that takes many forms (like avatars in a video game), and also exists in every part of creation, not just in people or a single deity.
Once we understand this, it becomes much easier to explain Hinduism to our children, our friends, and anyone curious. Hinduism is not just a religion—it’s a spiritual path that honors the Divine in all things, and invites each of us to experience that connection in our own way.
Let’s help the next generation feel proud and rooted in this beautiful tradition.
Why has Julia Roberts embraced Hinduism—and what does that mean for us all?
Her spiritual journey has sparked conversation around what Hinduism truly is—beyond the stereotypes of "caste, curry, and cows" that have long misrepresented this ancient and profound tradition. These surface-level caricatures are not only inaccurate; they reflect a deeper misunderstanding rooted in the human ego’s tendency to fall into codependency—a disconnection from inner truth and divine will.
True Sanatana Dharma—the eternal path—is not about hierarchy or exclusion. It is about liberation, inner mastery, and oneness with the Self and the Divine. The caste system, as it is popularly understood today, is a distortion of this truth and no longer has a place in a world striving for equality and spiritual evolution.
By returning to the timeless wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita, we uncover the tools to dissolve these outdated structures. The Gita offers a clear path to self-realization, showing us how to rise above the ego, overcome attachment, and walk in alignment with dharma—not societal labels.
Now is the time to reclaim the soul of Hinduism—not as a religion of division, but as a living, breathing path of unity, truth, and spiritual freedom.
A New Perspective on the Caste System
Rewriting Society Through the Gita: A New Lens on Dharma and Equality
As an International Human Rights Ambassador with the Mrs. Universe Official Organization, the Youth for Human Rights Initiative, and as Ms. Tourism USA Universe, I believe it is our sacred responsibility to speak out against systems that violate human dignity—especially when they are upheld in the name of religion.
The continuation of the caste system under the guise of spiritual tradition or adherence to shastra is not only a misinterpretation of Hinduism’s core values—it is a profound human rights issue. What began as a spiritual path has, in many instances, been misused as a tool of privilege—allowing some to elevate themselves by denying others their basic needs, rights, and worth.
At the heart of this distortion lies a deep-seated codependency—a need to seek external validation by placing others below ourselves. But true spirituality is not about hierarchy. It is about equality, compassion, and liberation for all.
The Bhagavad Gita, when understood through the lens of love and consciousness, offers a transformative message for our modern world. It gives us the tools to rise above ego, to recognize the divine in all beings, and to dismantle the inner and outer structures that divide us.
I explore these themes in depth in my book—because I believe that reawakening the true essence of this ancient wisdom can lead to not just spiritual growth, but also the emotional and societal healing that our world so desperately needs.
More Coming Soon
Modern Day Applications of Spiritual Hinduism
Returning to the Heart of Faith: Rediscovering Spirituality Beyond Cultural Practice
There is a profound difference between the spiritual essence of a religion and the often watered-down cultural expressions that develop over time. As we become increasingly entangled in the distractions and demands of daily life, many of us begin to drift away from the deeper, spiritual truths that form the foundation of our faith traditions.
This is a reality felt by many—especially within Hinduism, a richly layered and complex spiritual path that can often feel overwhelming. In this video, Swami Mehananda of Hollywood’s Vedanta Society gives voice to the quiet confusion experienced by countless Hindus who have inherited a cultural version of Hinduism, but long for a deeper, more soul-connected understanding.
His message is a call to remember: that spiritual practice is not performance, but a personal and sacred relationship with the Divine. And when we return to the heart of our traditions—not just the rituals, but the spirit behind them—we begin to awaken a truth that transcends time, culture, and custom.
The Divine Breakthrough: Krishna’s Escape as a Metaphor for Ego Liberation
When Krishna was born, a prophecy foretold his divine destiny—a destiny so powerful that he was locked away at birth in a prison guarded by 16 fortified doors, each one watched over by sentries and wild beasts to ensure his fate would never unfold. Yet, destiny cannot be imprisoned, and as Krishna’s divine energy awakened, he shattered each of those 16 locks—one by one.
These were not just physical barriers. Each lock symbolized the inner demons that live within all of us—anger, greed, lust, hatred, ignorance, jealousy, arrogance, self-doubt, and more. Krishna teaches that these qualities must be faced and transcended to attain true liberation of the soul.
Codependency is the Demon Kaliya of our Time
In our modern world, these same shadows still exist—but they’ve taken on a new form. Today, they are bound together in what we now call codependency—a pattern of self-abandonment, emotional entrapment, and fear-based living. It is the modern-day Kaliya, the great serpent of illusion and suffering.
Just as Krishna danced upon the hoods of Kaliya in the Srimad Bhagavatam, subduing the serpent and restoring the purity of the Yamuna River, we too are called to confront the serpent of our time. Through Krishna’s timeless wisdom, we are reminded that freedom is possible—that we can break the generational chains that keep us bound, and return to the truth of who we are: whole, sovereign, and divinely human.
Applying Krishna’s Wisdom to Modern Day Generational Curses in my Book, Becoming A Queen: Breaking Generational Curses and Stepping into your Authentic Power:
Krishna’s wisdom, as shared in the Bhagavad Gita, holds timeless truths—but its greatest power lies in how we choose to interpret it. When viewed through the lens of unconditional love, compassion, and human dignity, his words become a guiding light for healing not only the individual heart, but the collective soul of society.
In today’s world, we have the opportunity—and the responsibility—to reframe ancient teachings in a way that nurtures the emotional and spiritual well-being of the greatest number of people. This is not about rewriting scripture, but about re-seeing it—honoring its spirit while allowing it to evolve with human consciousness. If this can be done within one religion, it can be done within all religions, uniting faith traditions in a shared mission of healing, liberation, and love.
The Bhagavad Gita, when understood deeply, can be a powerful tool in breaking the generational curses that continue to plague modern society—many of which are rooted in the deeply embedded patterns of codependency.
Through Krishna’s Teachings: Dismantling Generational Curses
The Caste System
Hatred against Islam
The inequities of the caste system can be dismantled by affirming the divine worth of every human being, beyond birth or status. In this profound reflection, Swami Mehananda offers a fresh perspective on the true spirit behind the caste system as outlined in the Bhagavad Gita. He explains that the original intention was never to divide, limit, or oppress—but rather to liberate. It was meant to be a framework that honored each person's unique gifts, allowing individuals to contribute to the well-being of society in ways that aligned with their natural inclinations and inner calling. In its purest form, it was a system of service rooted in self-awareness, their swadharma, not status.
Swami Mehananda reminds us that this sacred intention is already playing out organically in modern society. Today, thanks to the widespread accessibility of education and opportunity, people can choose careers that reflect their interests and strengths. Those who are drawn to healing may become doctors. Those who excel in logic and debate may pursue law. Those with a talent for building and creating may become technicians, artists, or engineers. This diversity in purpose is a beautiful expression of dharma in action.
The real challenge now is not about access, but about courage—the courage to follow one’s true calling in a world that often pressures us to sacrifice our soul’s path for material gain or social approval. Too often, people abandon what lights them up in favor of what is seen as "successful" by societal standards—driven not by inspiration, but by obligation and the need for external validation.
Swami Mehananda calls us to recognize that the misappropriated caste system—now embedded in cultural Hinduism rather than spiritual truth—is no longer necessary or relevant. The original teachings in Chapter 18, Verses 41–45 of the Gita emphasized guna (inner qualities) and karma (natural inclinations), not birth or lineage. But over time, this sacred wisdom has been distorted to serve the ego's desire for superiority, separation, and self-worth measured by privilege.
True dharma has nothing to do with hierarchy and everything to do with authenticity, service, and love. By returning to the original spirit of the Gita and letting go of the outdated social constructs born of fear and control, we allow the soul to lead—and society to heal.
Hatred against Islam
Hatred against Islam
Of all the religions in the world, Islam is the most hated and feared. By choosing the path of education and enlightenment, by choosing to be curious about each other not from a place of judgment but of innocence, by confronting the fear, ignorance, and inherited prejudice that leads to religious discrimination we can overcome religios intolerance..
Islam, like all great traditions, carries profound beauty, depth, and truth. Krishna’s teachings call us to transcend sectarianism and recognize the divine in all paths to God. To hate one religion is to turn away from the divine spark within ourselves. Love is the only true religion, and unity the only way forward. This beautiful anecdote shared by Swami Mehananda shines a gentle light on a deeply human tendency—the way we often misunderstand what we do not fully know. Whether it’s a religion, a way of life, or a spiritual practice unfamiliar to us, it’s easy to project our own doubts or misconceptions onto others. This is not because we are bad or broken—it’s simply part of the ego’s attempt to protect us, to preserve our identity by comparing and validating our own path through judgment.
But true spiritual growth begins when we release the need to be right, and instead open ourselves to curiosity, humility, and love. Every religion, no matter how sacred its origin, has complexities and contradictions in how it has been interpreted and lived out over time. Each tradition has its shadows, its misunderstandings, its "skeletons in the closet." And yet, within all of them lies the same invitation: to go deeper, to look beyond the surface, and to meet one another in compassion—not comparison.
When we recognize this, we begin to heal. We begin to see each other not as different or divided, but as fellow seekers on the same sacred journey—returning to truth, together.
Rape Consciousness
By awakening a global awareness of the subtle and overt ways that consent, sovereignty, and bodily autonomy have been violated—both physically and energetically, we can overcome rape consciousness. Rape consciousness isn’t limited to the act itself; it is the mentality that sees bodies—especially female bodies—as objects to be controlled, dominated, or violated. It exists in the silencing of victims, the cultural normalization of violence, and the generational trauma passed down when pain is buried instead of healed. Krishna’s teachings can help us reclaim sacred boundaries, restore personal power, and build a world where love is never forced, but honored, protected, and freely given.
Social Hierarchies
Social hierarchies often arise from the cultural normalization of privilege—systems built on the exploitation of others' basic human rights and dignity, all in an unconscious attempt to validate our own self-worth. This is the nature of the human ego—it seeks security through comparison, trying to define itself by measuring against others.
But when we awaken to this pattern, we gain the power to change it. By choosing unity over division, and cooperation over control, we begin to heal the illusion of separation. In doing so, we create a society rooted not in status, but in shared humanity—a society where every person is seen, valued, and free to shine.
True harmony begins when we stop asking, “How do I rise above?” and start asking, “How do we rise together?”
A Culture of Personality Ethics
A Culture of Personality Ethics
Repurposing the wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita—particularly Chapter 6, Verse 5, which urges us to “elevate the self by the self, and not degrade the self”—can be a powerful tool in healing one of the most insidious forms of modern suffering: the forced suppression of emotions. In today’s world, we are taught to perform instead of feel, to fit in instead of be real. We’ve traded character ethics—which focus on integrity, humility, and inner strength—for personality ethics, where surface charm and curated positivity are rewarded. This culture, built on the fragile foundation of codependency, pressures us to wear a mask of toxic positivity, suggesting that hiding our pain, doubts, or grief is the cost of acceptance, success, or love. But Krishna’s teaching reminds us that true upliftment comes from within, from honoring and understanding ourselves deeply—not from denying our emotional reality to please the world. When we create space for authentic emotional expression, we reclaim our power, align with our dharma, and reconnect with a wholeness that can never be found through performance, only through presence.
Mental Illness
A Culture of Personality Ethics
The stigmas surrounding mental illness begin to dissolve when we choose to replace shame with compassion, and silence with understanding. Through the lens of Krishna’s timeless wisdom, we are reminded that our challenges—especially those of the mind—are not signs of weakness or brokenness. Instead, they are sacred invitations to look deeper. Mental illness is not simply a lifelong sentence or a flaw in our genetics; it is often a natural and deeply human response to pain, disconnection, and the struggle to feel seen, safe, and heard in a world that moves too fast to hold space for our emotions.
Krishna’s teachings invite us to see our inner battles not as burdens, but as gateways to transformation. They call us to meet ourselves—and others—with gentleness, recognizing that what we label as illness may actually be the soul's way of asking for love, truth, and healing. When we shift our perspective in this way, we don’t just reduce stigma—we reclaim our humanity, and begin to build a more compassionate world where no one has to suffer alone.
Misogeny
Misogeny
Misogeny
Misogyny, at its root, is a symptom of imbalance—an overvaluation of dominance, control, and logic, and a suppression of intuition, compassion, and emotional wisdom. But when we return to the spirit in which the Bhagavad Gita was truly written, we find guidance for restoring the sacred harmony between masculine and feminine energies within all of us. The Gita, when viewed through a more expansive and compassionate lens, offers not a rigid doctrine, but a living wisdom meant to uplift the emotional and spiritual well-being of all people. It calls us to transcend ego, to rise in self-awareness, and to honor the divine qualities that both the masculine and feminine embody.
By recognizing the feminine not as lesser, but as essential—equal in power, depth, and purpose—we begin to dismantle the unconscious beliefs that fuel misogyny. And as we integrate these sacred polarities within ourselves and our communities, we create a world where partnership replaces hierarchy, and reverence replaces repression. In this balance, true liberation becomes possible—not just for women, but for everyone.Krishna’s teachings invite us to see our inner battles not as burdens, but as gateways to transformation. They call us to meet ourselves—and others—with gentleness, recognizing that what we label as illness may actually be the soul's way of asking for love, truth, and healing. When we shift our perspective in this way, we don’t just reduce stigma—we reclaim our humanity, and begin to build a more compassionate world where no one has to suffer alone.
Ancient Wisdom Through the Eyes of Love
From Scripture to Soulwork: Living the Gita with Love in Today’s World
The idea that scriptures (śāstra) should not always be followed rigidly or blindly—but understood and applied with wisdom—is touched upon in Chapter 16, Verse 24 of the Bhagavad Gītā. Here's the verse:
Sanskrit (BG 16.24):
tasmāc chāstraṁ pramāṇaṁ te kāryākārya-vyavasthitau
jñātvā śāstra-vidhānoktaṁ karma kartum ihārhasi
Word-by-word English Translation:
- tasmāt – therefore
- śāstram – scripture
- pramāṇam – authority / standard
- te – for you
- kārya-akārya-vyavasthitau – in determining what should or should not be done
- jñātvā – having known / understood
- śāstra-vidhāna-uktam – what is stated in the ordinances of scripture
- karma kartum – to act / perform action
- iha arhasi – you ought to do here (in this world)
Full English Translation:
"Therefore, let scripture be your authority in determining what should be done and what should not be done. Having understood what is prescribed in the scriptures, you should act accordingly in this world."
Does this imply not following scripture blindly?
At face value, this verse emphasizes that scripture (śāstra) is the standard for discerning right and wrong. However, the key phrase is “jñātvā śāstra-vidhānoktam”—"having understood what is prescribed in scripture." The verb jñātvā ("having known/understood") is crucial.
This implies:
- One should not follow scripture blindly;
- One should understand its intent and principles;
- Application of śāstra requires awareness, reflection, and discernment, not mechanical obedience.
Commentary Insights:
Swami Sivananda:
"You should understand the teaching of the scriptures and perform your duties accordingly. You should not act according to your whims and fancies."
Swami Chinmayananda:
"Only when the seeker, through study and reflection, has understood what is the righteous path indicated in the scriptures, should he act accordingly. Thus, the scriptures should not be blindly obeyed, but wisely understood and lived."
In Conclusion:
Bhagavad Gītā 16.24 does not reject scripture—it upholds it. But it also emphasizes that understanding is a prerequisite to action. This is the Gita's deeper teaching: Scripture is not to be memorized and obeyed mechanically, but to be realized, internalized, and lived with wisdom.